I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I want to walk on stilts...naked
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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