I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just found puke in my bra..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
