I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
