everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
