We won't sleep together?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
