she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
