Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
