Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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