Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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