Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
