Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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