I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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