how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
