if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
