So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
