I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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