It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
