And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
