Where is the hickey?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My feet surprised me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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