i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
