just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
