Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
