Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
