I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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