The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
