3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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