I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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