oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
