the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
