how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Randomize