The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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