So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
