...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
