I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Bring me that man meat
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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