Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And then he peed in my hair
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