i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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