He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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