I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
