I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
