The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
