Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
