Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
