He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
