i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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