I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
