College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
