He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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