What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
