This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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