I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
